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I Ain't Much Baby But I'm All I've Got, by Ph. D. Jess Lair
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I Ain't Much Baby But I'm All I've Got
- Sales Rank: #1158825 in Books
- Brand: Bantam Doubleday Dell
- Published on: 1972
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Paperback
- 215 pages
- Great product!
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Four Stars
By Lori Bergeron
Good condition good price
12 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
I would have rated it a 5 thirty years ago
By Elizabeth G. Melillo
Jess's presentation is one of the most realistic, compassionate treatments of human nature and relationships which I have seen. His stress on being genuine, and on the deep human need for love, is superb.
Where Jess fails is in treating the examples, mostly from his classroom experience, as if the approach he outlines is strictly 'cause and effect.' During the 1970s, when a new generation was exploring being 'open' as opposed to using the conventions of conversation from the past, yet the 'self help' culture had not yet arisen, his approach seemed close to revolutionary. However, reactions other than those of one grateful for love are never presented as possible - and, indeed, one may find that is exactly what one receives.
For example, Jess, whose emphasis on our need to be loved is probably the most honest statement of the century, gives an example of a nurse who phoned her former supervisor, to whom she was grateful, to say 'I love you.' The happy tears of the supervisor are moving - but let no one expect that this was inevitable. Indeed, some people are ill at ease when told of love by close friends.
Regrettably, the current 'self help' culture could spoil the effect of much of Jess's advice. The warmth and affection he suggests could be taken today for a 'violation of boundaries,' or be feared as a technique of manipulation (much as it is not.)
I found Jess's treatment of sex to be wonderfully healthy and refreshing, yet things have changed there as well. He gives an example of a wonderful man he knew who complimented a lady on her figure (saying she had the nicest breasts he had seen), and her wholesome acceptance of this. Indeed, an excellent attitude is shown here - but a man;s compliments on a woman's figure could be
taken, however wrongly, for some sort of harrassment today.
The book can be valuable, but with the caveat that the reader must use it with discrimination.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Use some caution
By Kathy Connolly
I agree with a previous reviewer that this book has much to offer, but should be used with some caution. People's boundaries have changed. My personal experience in applying some of the lessons from this book is that people are often not fond of hearing self-disclosure and connecting experiences together interpersonally. People seem to like me better when I don't share much about myself and just listen to them and support them instead. Of course, too much of that makes for unbalanced relationships, but in our Hollywoodized, sound bite world, people aren't always ready for the real thing.
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